A Loss For Words | The Kids


People that know me… know that things have gone from bad to worse with my ex.  Things were perfect and last summer after going camping with them for a week… things went nuts.

Don’t Tell Mom We Are Camping from Dan Deveau on Vimeo.

Looks like we had a great time.  After that.  She would not answer her phone.  She would not let them call me.  She would not let me call them to talk to them.  She just closed up.

I was suspose to have them for another week to fly them down to Nova Scotia so they can visit their Grandfather.  She would not answer any messages.  I could not book airfare since I didn’t know what was going on.  I had to ask work to push my week vacation since I didn’t want to waste it and I had to take it in November when the kids were in school.   I then flew to Nova Scotia alone to see my Dad.  I wish she didn’t have to wreck that.


Why is she doing this?



She won’t let the kids have messaging apps on their devices.  They don’t have wifi at home.  It’s impossible to message them.  The odd time I get lucky and my daughter connects somewhere like Tim Hortons.


You have no idea when I see her type back.  It feels like Christmas morning.


I’m at a loss for words.  I miss them so much.  It’s just not right.



I miss her.  I miss him.  I am totally shut out of their lives.


I always hear nothing back.  I can send one message per day and do that for 16 days in a row and I don’t get nothing back.  Not a time that I can call them.

It’s just not right.



I’m so frustrated.  I can’t see them.  I can’t communicate with them.  I can’t see how they are doing.  I can’t tell them I love them.  What happens if something happens to me.  What happens if a Drunk Driver kills me in a car crash?  Why does it have to be like this?  It’s one of the reasons I have this blog and make videos.  If something happens to me… it’s the only memories they have of me.  I just wish I could see and talk to them.

I’m at a loss for words.

What do they think?

I know they know that I can’t call them.

They know the reason that when they ask their Mom what the phone number of the landline in the house is and she says “she doesn’t know it”… they know.  They know that she doesn’t want to tell them the phone number that she thinks they will tell me the number and that I can call them.

Why is it so wrong not to allow them to talk to me on a phone?  Does that hurt them?

No… the Mom knows it hurts me.  That’s why.  That’s why it’s a private unlisted number so her Mother and her Sister can call her.  It’s just not right.

How come she calls the police if I show up and knock on the door and ask if they can come out so I can talk to them.  She has done that 3 times.  The last time there was a woman police officer and she could not believe it.  Before I left I asked her if she can go to their Mom and ask her if I can talk to them for 5 minutes.  The Mom said no.

I’m glad she called the police so I could go to the station and get a copy of the police report since it’s proof how stupid this is.

I’m at a loss for words.  Today… I typed a little.

I now have to waste money fighting in courts for her to allow me to talk to them and for her to let me see them and spend time with them.

I honestly don’t know how to put this into words…

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