Archive for the ‘Infrequent Thoughts + Updates’ Category

Quarterly Update | Welcome!

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

 

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summer moves quickly into fall…

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September 19th, 2017

this summer has come and gone.  where did it go.  honestly this summer is a blur.  what is happening?  where did it go?  will it come back soon?

my name is dan and this is my little blog that i try and bookmark things, thoughts and moments.  no idea who looks.  it doesn’t really matter really.  this blog is more for me to look back on and use it as a reference point to people when i need to tell a story or highlight something that i bookmarked.

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my last post is here in Feb.  all my past little updates are here.  three sweet songs were selected for the songs of the quarter.  “lost in the light” and “black oak“.  the song from bahamas gets me in feels and no comment on NW.

i suck… it’s so hard to pick a song for the 4th quarter and hopefully knocking out this post it will come to me.  my little boo turned 16.  she is so sweet.  i must say that i’ve gone nuts on spotify and have created 44 public playlists for all types of moods.

the cold war is over.  little man has my old phone and boo has a new one.

it was nice to see Dan in a new little unique venue and also listen to some music at the folk fest.  lisbon… let’s try that again in nov with the kids.  it was nice to visit ottawa for a little last minute jaunt.

summer where did you go.  not enough patios, walks, hikes, tennis, hoops, concerts, sunsets and sunrises.  too much work.

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33% of my heart goes to little man above and the other 33% goes to boo down below…

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too much of you lufty this summer.

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not impressed with the effort.  fail.  need to get up and get to it.  more on that soon in another post.

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i miss many things.  i can name 9 things.  i will keep that list to myself.

lyrics eat me up.  they do.

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too many things to look forward to.  enough with this post.  let’s move forward since this summer didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye properly.

until the next update… i promise to have more to blog about.  promise!

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1-30-1-Ghost_Selfiethat’s a good question. my name is dan and I’m happy with a three letter name. i reside outside of toronto, canada. i grew up in ajax and now my life has pushed me a bit north of the city. i have been reborn outside a 23 year old relationship that has given me two beautiful kids. my daughter is in Grade 11 and my son will be following her footsteps in a couple of years.

1-1-a kids ptbo weekendbeing on my own has made my life a little blurry. as you can see below… i always have a smile on my face.

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things i like in no order: music, coffee, red wine, ben howard, photography, my laptop, women, hollywood redheads, passenger, bon iver, mumford, strumbellas, tiny houses, my camera, mixtapes, freckles, road trips, cafe’s, burgers, salads, movies, instagam, twitter, evernote, ifttt, tennis, raptors, blue jays, downtown toronto, new streets to explore, the rules of a gentleman, sushi, tumblr, blogging, basketball, nike, camping, youtube, love songs, my bike, walking, tents, sleeping bags, facebook, smell of a campfire, grilled cheese, finding new music, ipods, showers, soundhound, long baths with music, doing plan “b” if plan “a” does not work, kissing, black & white photography, MEC, JCrew, smelly candles, old spice swagger, cereal, dr. pepper, did i say freckles?, smiles on people, couchsurfing, kiva, imdb, queen west, king west, cnd women’s soccer + basketball teams, skype with my dad + kids, “over” app, driving on country roads, dinner out, one second everyday video project,  beer on a patio, making love on the living room floor, sunglasses, smell of perfume, tfc soccer, photographing people in love, the scent of a woman’s skin, making videos of my kids, red rocket street cars in the summer, my kids smiles, day-dreaming, the voices of my children, documenting everything, being positive, cats, dogs, pizza, jordan, connecting with old friends, remembering high school, cuddling in tents, hiking, forests, streams, clouds, micro beers, trying new things, driving new roads, hugs, reflection, coffee w/ people, alone time, swimming, playing tag, hide + seek, restaurants, crossing the boarder, quotes, julianne moore, thinking of little miss sweetness, my workout music, flip flops, polica, shorts, t-shirts, hoodies, mazda’s, pasta, fireworks, canada’s wonderland, being near water, trail running, jeans and i could type and type and type. did i say freckles?

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when moving in to a little apartment on my own… i got rid of so many things. i lived lighter. i lived without cable television and it didn’t bother me. i started to loose weight and got rid of many of the clothes i used to wear. (i still have a ways to go) I looked at all the things I took with me and thought about what do i really need. yes i have two rubbermaid tubs with some keepsakes that it’s hard for me to part with.

life is a process + a journey.

i have many untold stories. i know what it’s like to go without things & get rid of things and live simple.

one of the most powerful things i have is my mind. i am so happy with my mind and my thoughts and outlook on life. it never fails me. never lets me down.

i am a positive person that is blessed and so thankful for everything that i have.

i am the type of person that is excited for today. excited for tomorrow.

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i love being outside. i want my kids to love to explore, learn and discover the world around them + far away. i don’t want them to be stuck playing video games. i want them to have memories. i want them to be kids even as they grow into adults. i want to run, laugh, be silly.

i want to be bent over from trying to breathe since i’m laughing so hard and my eyes are watering.

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My Blog | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | My Rambling Thoughts | Skype = “jsdoit1” | Email: dan@jsdoit.ca

everyone needs friends + connections…

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i am now starting my second life. i’m excited about it and scared. i feel that if i just scale back and live in something that i can own, pay off completely and reduce my monthly living expenses… i can have a bigger life with more money, time and freedom while supporting my kids.

i also think that living with less will give me more.

i will appreciate what i have and also have only the things i truly need in life. i would rather have more money to travel, explore and go on little mini adventures.

i would rather clean the house in 15 minutes and then go out somewhere with my kids and enjoy life.

i want to spend my time with four people. myself | my kids | my future love | my friends

i want to be more active. i would rather go to the gym each morning to lightly workout everyday, connect with news while doing so and shower/shave + get dressed and go to work or out for the day. i want to be healthy. i want to eat better. eat very simple foods.

i want to learn more about the environment and my footprint. i want to have the kids learn from me.

in my lifetime… i would like my kids to be able to tell people in the future that they have gone camping at every provincial park in ontario.

1-tumblr_m0l8rkNrk51qcck88o1_500I would love to find this above. don’t know if i will… but it will be fun to try.

1-tiny life2the kids are excited. dad lives in a clubhouse! lol how cool is that.

life can be simple.

i would rather have a couple of things i truly love than to have a house full of crap that i don’t use or touch.

i don’t need anything big to show off to people.

i just need to have something that is for me and my kids. I want to spend my time when i am away from my kids when they are with their mother with my friends and my future love. I miss having someone to connect with on a higher level. i miss someone to love and be loved back. don’t we all want that? i miss many things like that. i know it will come. it’s exciting to try and meet new people.

i have no idea if you know who i am… feel free to type me a email or call out to me. i’m not shy. hell… let’s meet up for coffee. have a question… just ask.


Lufty

Friday, February 17th, 2017

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working for an airline is very interesting and also opens your mind to so many places in the world you can travel to and explore.  our flight discounts are incredible.  the industry is incredibly complex and keeping costs in check are paramount.  we opened a cost centre in manilla and how that plays out will be interesting in how much that will impact our office.  time will tell.

our flight benefits are changing and we will be able to select two people in lieu of our parents that can receive our flight benefits.

this year… i need to use this benefit more and i’m looking forward to planning two trips with each of my kids separately.  i also want to take advantage of some 4 day weekends to line up some smaller trips around north america since we can fly with many other airlines like porter and westjet along with our partners air canada and united airlines.

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Is It Spring Yet?

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

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February 4th, 2017:

Hello! My name is Dan. This is my little blog that I use to document things, thoughts, photos and videos.  Sort of like a bookmarking parking spot for many things.  Bottom line for 2017 is that I need to blog more with videos, personal photos and ideas.   The little part of the blog that keeps all these little updates can be found here.

Side note… when i type these… sometimes i use capital letters and some times i don’t.  😉  You will have to deal with it.

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my last little update was back in october of last year.  now the year has flipped over and a new year is upon us.  my goal is to really make a dent in my 101 Things to do in a 1001 days list.  you can see above that I got a little tattoo.  honestly… nothing fancy or epic.   working on a second one and made a little drawing above (bottom left) that has “C” spelled out as “cee” for my daughter and “en” the the “N” in Noah and a little triangle that represents each point in us since there is are 3 of us now… so that’s disguised as a tree.  no idea if i will use that idea…

i really enjoyed the Banff Film Fest that came into town and can’t wait for next year.

i need to blog more about the kids and document things more.  i’m going to start to make little videos again.  boring ones like before.  kids and myself laugh at them like this little one from our UNO Dare card games.  i’ve also recorded footage with them and we are going to make some little projects together.  one of them will be called “stories”.

also, trying to work on a logo for a while that is hard to hammer out.  kids want to make some t-shirts and hats… so going to get some patches made up and some iron-on logos for some hoodies/sweatshirts and t-shirts.   lol the kids want to sell “merch”.  i don’t want to sell it.  it’s just a personal project.

working on planning a vacation and make use of flight benefits.  i need to sneak away some weekends and explore some cities close by… more on that below.

i’m starting to play more with Spotify and build some playlists for moods.  the songs in my tight rotation now are here.  it’s a small handful of different songs i like for different reasons.  some of them are older and i still am madly in love with them.  it’s great since you can steam on a device or just download the player for the laptop or desktop.  you can find my profile on Spotify here.

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i do.  i’m always excited for tomorrow.

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work:

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working for Lufty and looking forward to some new projects at work coming up over the next 5 months.  with the opening of a new office across the world where the economic climate is so much different than canada will have a huge cost savings.  when a company can pay about 400 month in salary to a person means why pay someone over 2,000.  Sad… because with it comes uncertainty.  i’m sure there will be changes at work and the people that work there are waiting to see what’s up and how things unfold.

with business in today’s world… words today does not mean they hold true in 6 months from now since it’s a business and cost savings are important for sustainable growth.  we will see what happens and you can’t worry about it.

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i planned out my vacation at work and I have to make little adjustments to it now.  Chantal will be getting a job with the Town Of Ajax this summer so I need to plan a little trip with her near the end of summer if possible.  maybe during the school year… but not sure if that will fly with the ex.

visiting places to explore is more beneficial than a week of school but i would not want her to fall behind.  with Noah… I think me and him are going to plan a little trip together this summer.  i think portugal and spain… so it looks like we will be planning separate trips with the kids.

they both have Lufty world maps at home so they can see all the places we fly to.

plus… there are changes to our benefits and we can now select two people to enjoy and use our flight benefits.  another thing i need to think about where someone can utilize this awesome perk.

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The hardest part with planning anything with the kids is the communication with Karen which is sometimes exists and sometimes not.  I have ways to communicate with them now that she does not know about which are great.  I just want to be able to have her not mess up vacations anymore.

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Gym.  I’m going.  I’m just starting to ramp up things a little.  At first you are shocking your body and it starts to protect itself and it’s starting to let go.  It’s starting to understand a new routine.  I’m trying to increase my water intake by a ton… so it’s starting to understand the new “normal” is lots of water going in and instead of holding on to it… it’s letting it go.  I’m at the point that I’m going to start lifting weights and I’ve been researching and trying to make a fitness program.  Researching is a bitch.  So many things online and I’m at the point that I’m trying to be more comfortable at the gym with the machines and also the free weights.

My goal to get to 220 will be easy and hard.  Easy to get down to 240 with some effort.  Going down to 220 will be harder.  I’m also starting to play basketball which is nice to run up and down the courts.  I’m also trying to overhaul my food choices and also when I eat during the day.  Hence… the tattoo on my wrist that I can see everyday.

When I get to 220… I will go for 200 and see what that takes me.  It’s not the number anyways since muscle weighs more… I guess it’s how you look naked.  Don’t ask right now.

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love my mind.  love my “wants” and what excites me.  with heath comes confidence.  you have no idea how my mind works… and the struggle is real with what I want.

That’s why I have two other tumblrs.  2017 is about sorting out some things and also moving so after that… i can focus on the hunger to be with someone.

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Thanks for hitting the blog!  Sorry for the ass grabs at the bottom here in the post.  Life is worth living and you have to live your life and go after what you want to have the opportunity to get it.  

If you get a chance to touch it… grab it.  hold on tight and kiss the hell out of it.  claim it.

Until the next update…

Cheers! Dan


A New Year

Saturday, December 31st, 2016

 


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In Fall of 2011, I decided to come up with 101 Things to do in 1001 days.  Which is a whack of days.  My life is different from that point and my 1,001 days expired.  I’ve created a new list of things with some from the past list.  The date I started this list was August 8th, 2016.  I really have done nothing to my list and this has to change… so might as well post it here.  I created some reminders to pop up in my phone to remind me to get my ass in gear.

I will update some blog posts that were already created for the tasks that are in progress and I’ll update them with current updates.

101 things can be really small things and some of them could be some larger things.  Not 100% sure if I can get all of them done.  But I promised myself I will try.  Some things are for me and some are for my kids.

I will try and blog them all in progress and once they are completed.

 

<<<<This is just the list.  Updated list in the pulldown menu above.>>>>

  1. Have my IMDb Watch-list get down to under 300 movies and have my rated movies end up being over 400. 
  2. Winter Camping with my kids and stay in a Yurt at Silent Lake Provincial Park.
  3. Volunteer consistently over the period of this project for a good cause.  I was working in a Men’s Shelter and I need to continue with that or move to another charity or better yet… do both.
  4. Post on Tumblr one picture each day of something that I’m grateful for and appreciate.
  5. Purchase and read one book per month for 6 months in a row.  Start again if broken before 6 months is up.
  6. Back-Country Camping Trip with a woman, canoe and a small tent.
  7. Install a “Before I Die” Wall somewhere in Peterborough or Ajax.
  8. Finish the photo-project Blog on jsdoit.ca that cover my entire life and family tree.
  9. Redesign the “Lie With Me” Mixtape and the “All I Want” Series.
  10. Transfer all my Music CD’s Into the Laptop & delete crappy songs.  Also sort all my music on iTunes
  11. Photography & Culture Weekend in NYC.  Overnight Bus Trip/Flight & sleep all night to arrive in the Morning.  (Alone or with friends)
  12. Quick trip to NYC where I leave Toronto in the evening and arrive in NYC in the morning and bring a small tent and a sleeping bag.  Just sneak away by myself.
  13. Weekend in Chicago, IL in the summer to travel around the city.
  14. Break ground and order a trailer that my Tiny House will be built upon.
  15. Push my ex to sign an official separation agreement or take her to court for one.
  16. Get a new template for this blog.
  17. Spend a weekend in Toronto at The Thompson Hotel with a woman I want to kiss.
  18. Get my iPod screen fixed on my second iPod.
  19. Get Chantal an iPhone.
  20. Find someone to fall in love with.
  21. Fall Camping Trip at Bon Echo Provincial Park with the kids.
  22. Take Noah out of school for the day and take him to a Blue Jay game with me.
  23. Purchase a new Professional Camera Lens for my camera that would work well for low lighting
  24. Rent a houseboat from Egan Rentals for a weekend in the Kwaratha Lakes to have a blast with the kids and see if any of my buddies & their families want to do the same and we can caravan along the lakes together.  Rent a Houseboat that has a slide from the roof to swim in the middle of the lake.
  25. Get old photos from my Dad and make my own photo album of our family growing up in a coffee table format.  Make the book through www.blurb.com
  26. Go Camping with my kids to Killbear Provincial Park in Northern Ontario with Raymond.
  27. Attend the Canadian Rogers Tennis Tourney with a paid ticket in Toronto at York University.
  28. Visit KLand in California
  29. Completed:  Purchase a Go Pro Camera.  (And I gifted it to my daughter)
  30. Attend a High School Basketball Game of my Old High School
  31. Recover data from my first external hard drive.
  32. Drive to Atlantic City, New Jersey in Shorts, T-Shirt and Flip Flops and my wallet and stay for the weekend. (Bring Nothing Else)
  33. Get a Tattoo
  34. Take my kids to Canada’s Wonderland Halloween Haunt.
  35. Purchase a Canon Point & Shoot Camera to Snap good photos but more importantly video on the fly.
  36. Purchase $200 worth of Toys from Walmart and donate them to the Chum Christmas Wish at Christmas and involve my kids.  Let them pick them out and deliver it with me.
  37. Teach my daughter how to take photographs with my old camera and then give it to her to keep and use.
  38. Get a bunch of High School Buddies and play Paintball outside at that paintball place north of Barrie.
  39. Go away White Water Rafting near Ottawa for the weekend.
  40. Attend a Buffalo Bills Football game in Buffalo in the Winter (Bus Trip Package from Union Station in Toronto that includes food and drinks during the tailgate party)
  41. Take my kids to a car race at Mosport Raceway in Bowmanville, ON for a weekend camping trip.
  42. Go Skinny dripping with a woman at night.
  43. Complete two years straight of my One Second Everyday Project.
  44. Work with my kids and get them their own domain for email and help them set up a blog if they want one.
  45. Spend a weekend at Osheaga in Quebec with a women.
  46. Attend & see 5 Movies in the span of 5 days.
  47. Join Volleyball league.
  48. Take my kids to a Toronto FC Game.
  49. Buy myself a Long Board.
  50. Attend a tennis match a the Rogers Cup in Montreal.
  51. Jump off a bridge into water high enough that I’m a little freaked out to jump off.
  52. Purchase a new laptop.
  53. Watch a Toronto Blue Jays game outside of Toronto.
  54. Attend a Toronto Raptors Road game in Detroit with Elite Sports Tours.
  55. In Progress:  Update my legacy project videos for the kids that they will get during different milestones within their lives if something should ever happen to me.
  56. Get a credit card with a points/reward system that works for my life and get rid of the one I have now.
  57. Get down to 220 pounds.
  58. Find a job in Durham/Toronto so I can move closer to my kids.
  59. Purchase a Turf Concert Weekend pass for Toronto at Fort York.
  60. Have the shell of my Tiny House competed so I can live inside while I finish it.
  61. Get a second Tattoo.
  62. Purchase a new vehicle and get rid of the car I have now sitting in Pickering.
  63. Attend Cask Days Festival in Toronto.
  64. Try inline skating for the first time.
  65. Ice Skating with a women at Cedarena in the winter.
  66. Attend a concert with Chantal.
  67. Join a Tennis Club & Beat Ali at 3 Sets in Tennis
  68. Watch the full series of “THE WIRE” which as a highly recommended HBO Series.
  69. Catch up online with 50 peeps on FB that I have not been in contact with since the last time I’ve seen them personally or we connected on FB.
  70. Go Kayaking.  I smile when I type this because of the private back-story about Kayaking.
  71. Purchase a parachute hammock for backpackers.
  72. Get up to 70 trees planted with TenTree.
  73. Complete 100 loans with KIVA and have the total loans by people I’ve invited to Kiva pass 150 loans.  Will you help me?  (Blog Post)
  74. Be able to do 25 push-ups
  75. Try water skiing for the first time in my life
  76. Go on a road-trip where you drive 5 hours north somewhere.
  77. Update my estate planning package & instructions for my executor.
  78. Hike Mt. Washington with Chantal.
  79. Be able to jump and hang on a regulation height basketball rim with both hands.  In Grade 12, I could jump with one step in desert boots and hang on.  It feels so far away right now.
  80. Go and see 30 bands play live
  81. Give blood 2 times a month for 8 months in a row.
  82. Have a candlelit dinner on the living room floor with someone.
  83. Give a 100% tip to someone what provides excellent service.
  84. Run my first 10k marathon.
  85. Pay for someone’s groceries.
  86. Take Nose out to dinner.
  87. Donate $10 to charity for every 101 thing I don’t complete in the 1001 days.
  88. Hit 33 straight free throws.
  89. Have a nerf gun war with the kids that can be called “epic” afterwards.
  90. Stay with someone using Couchsurfing.
  91. Spend an entire day without vision (be blind).
  92. Design two logo’s for a hat and something for a t-shirt or hoody and make some for myself.
  93. Purchase another bottle of Theirry Mulger – Angel.
  94. Spend a weekend at the Breakers in Cobourg, ON
  95. Visit Mt. Tremblant in Quebec City in the Winter.
  96. Think of one for here.
  97. Go to an event that I have to wear a Tux
  98. Take my kids on vacation to Europe.
  99. Hike 21km section of the Bruce Trail through Bruce Peninsula National Park w/the kids.
  100. Think of one for here
  101. Create my 4th list once this one is completed.

 

Little Quarterly Update About Life Moving To Quickly And Not Having Enough Fun Truthfully

Tuesday, October 4th, 2016

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October 4th, 2016:

Hello! My name is Dan. This is my little blog that I use to document things, thoughts, photos and videos.  Sort of like a bookmarking parking spot. This little part of the blog is a little current update on things.

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My last little update was back in Feb of this year.  Sorry… it’s taken me a while to update this page.  Before that it was August of 2015 and May 2015.  These little updates can be found here.

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In life you have to keep things simple.

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Working for Lufty is pretty good, but I need to use my flight benefits more.  I’ve used them twice to fly at 90% off and in July… I was able to take the kids to Nova Scotia to visit family and take off with the kids.  More on that below.  The company is expanding on the other side of the world and it will be interesting to see how that spins off for opportunities on this side of the world or take them away.  I need to fly away and very shortly… I will start looking to fly the kids somewhere in December with some time off around boxing day.

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I’m starting to get back into the swing of things with music.  Below… I’m getting back to the basics with catching on with Ben Howard’s Every Kingdom album… but overall I can’t shake Ry X, Vancouver Sleep Clinic who is starting to release some new tracks and Bon Iver who just released 22 a million on September 30th that I’ve downloaded which is sweet mix of songs that are just down right creatively dirty and thought provoking and I still have older Bon Iver spinning on the iPod.

I’m a sucker for cuddling songs and songs to listen to when I ride and when I reflect.  Who doesn’t want to kiss someone in the dark to music.

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Hitting up Nova Scotia was fun.  It was fun to fly on a plane with the kids.  To have little rules and for them to experience freedom with exploring and trying things.  It was great to see my family and see my Dad.  It was fun to see Chantal drive and she appreciated that she was allowed.

Before that was some Stealth Camping and that fun little adventure was inside my OSE here.

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The past little while has been lots of work.  I have not really played ball this summer… instead I’ve picked up the tennis racquet and had fun getting out each morning before work and playing.  I’ve also decided to bike to work and free my mind up a little and get some exercise with the 15km trip to work each day.  The goal now is hitting the YMCA and also eating more healthy.

I honestly need to find the passion for ball and competing against anyone.  Therefore… I’m looking forward to the playground near you to kick your ass.

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Coffee fuels me, Casey inspires me with telling a story and documenting, fall is here and the quest to live a simple life.  Going to start living with less things.  Tiny house design is happening room by room now.  I’ve started to build a 3D version of my Tiny House with auto cad so I can put actual furniture inside and view from all directions and have a walk through.  I’m also trying to knock off my 101 Things to do in a 1001 days and I simply wish that this summer didn’t fly by and I wish I had more fun and laughed more honestly.

I’m trying to be more kind.  Open more doors for people and smile more at strangers and exchange more daily pleasantries with strangers.  If everyone did this what would the world be like and I’m sure it would make a little difference that is positive.

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Life should not be like this…

I’ve set up a private blog for the kids where I can post video messages and blog posts to.  I’m sure I will be blogging more about this shortly.  I giggle so much when I’m with these two.

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having someone to kiss and makes you smile… is a sweet sweet thing.

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I have so much unfinished business that it’s hard to do this post.  Hopefully the next update with have more progress and completion.

Thanks for hitting the blog!  Below is some general information of who I am if you want to stalk me a little…

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Cheers! Dan

Open Letter To My 18 Year Old Self

Thursday, March 10th, 2016

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July 15th, 2015

Dear Speed,

Hey!  Pay attention.

It’s July 15th, 1989 and you just walked your future wife home to her parents house.  Yes, you end up getting married to your high school sweetheart that you just shared your first intimate kiss a couple of weeks ago on May 23rd after school that left you breathless and you don’t remember your feet touching the ground as you walked home grinning.  More on that later dude.

I have many things to tell you and I want you to listen and take some advice from an older version of yourself shown above.  That shot was taken in 2013 when you were 43 years old.  This is the last one before you started shaving your head.  I know you like your hair now but later in life it will start to be more like our Dad’s.

I know you won’t take all of my advice and making mistakes in life is part of the process.  You will make many in your lifetime.  Everyone else around you does.  Along the way, you will hurt people you care about and you will understand that you can’t go back in life to say goodbye to people you love when they leave you suddenly.

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Let’s talk about the present.  1989.  Right now you are 18 years old and weigh a buck sixty-five and your waist is 34.  You live at home with your parents.   You can’t dance worth shit and have no rhythm.  You have made up your mind to go to Ajax High next year before High School ends.  At DO’C you started to feel more accepted and you feel better about your appearance.  Good job on the desert boots buddy 😉

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A couple of months ago you finally told Karen, the girl that liked you in Grade 7 that you liked her back.  She is your world now and you are already in love with her since you were strong friends that know everything about each other.  I’ll fast forward to 2015 and you still love her since you have shared so much of your life together but things are different now.  Your life is so different and you have never felt so disconnected and alone but you are more thankful for the little things you have.  More on that later.

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Right now, I want to talk about a couple of things and ramble a little.  You never really have this opportunity to talk to your younger self.

I wish I could go back a little farther and tell you to pay attention in French class and to study the language so you can speak two different languages.  If you did, you would make more money which is not super important in life but I think it would have changed the outcome of your life and who knows… maybe your marriage.

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Right now, you have not really dated anyone.  Patricia didn’t count and Stacey was a summer with your hands running wild on each other.  You have not grown older and matured like I have and you are so young you have not had a chance to really look back and reflect on life.  You are not a deep thinker and your just moving through day by day.

If you could go back to the summer of 1988 you will not be able to realize that your “what if” girl is on the edge of your life.  You don’t see her as that person.  I can’t make you go back in time and I don’t want you spoil anything now with Karen… but over your life she will pop into your mind and make you wonder.

If you could go back one year… I would want you to go back to the summer before and walk across Harwood Ave to the other townhouses on the other side and knock on the other redheads door.  The one with the freckles.  Tell her that you want to go for a walk with her.  Then, I would want you to walk down to the lake with her and stop her dead in her tracks and kiss her on the path when she is mid sentence about something.  Just get the guts and plan your precise move and just do it.  Make her forget the world for 24 seconds.

If you could do that for me… you will help me get that “what if” out of my system.  Then you would not think about what it would be like to kiss her all your life.  Don’t worry Dan…  you will be fine in your relationship with Karen and into your marriage and you won’t stray and be faithful to her.

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Over your lifetime you will have three “what if” women in your life and two of those will be after your marriage ends.  (Yes.  It ends, but when it does…  your life will begin again.  So don’t worry)  These two women enter your life at the wrong time in your life and they can’t grow and develop.  So I need to tell you about things to make your life better and more ways to keep relationships and be more appreciative through communication and actions.  You can never control if the other person will like you back as much as you like them.  All you can do is be “YOU” and do the right things and if they stay they will appreciate the person you are and what you bring into their life.

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First let’s start with some house keeping issues and things to remember and work on:

Thee couple dirty magazines that you bought at L&L gift shop when you were in grade 11 at 10:30pm after you have to wait till everyone was out of the store is not worth it.  Your Mom will find them in the briefcase in your closet and the thought about her knowing will be far worse than the 4 minutes of pleasure looking at them 😉

Hang out with your Dad more.  When he comes home from work and goes downstairs to watch TV.  Don’t just come in and go upstairs right away.  Go sit with him and hang out.  Even if you don’t talk.  Just hang out and watch “The National” with him and talk more.  They will retire and move to Nova Scotia so you need to spend as much time as you can with them before they go east.

Appreciate more what your Mother does for you.  She cleans your room and makes you all the food you can eat.  She slips you money all the time so you can go out and do things.  I know your nice to her but hug her more.  Mom’s like that and you don’t understand that they like that stuff… so now and then.  Give her a hug and tell you that you love her.  Take the time to slow down and talk to her.  Kiss her on the cheek as much as you can.

Call your Brother on the phone since he doesn’t live in the house.  You wasted so much time and you hardly know him.  More on that later.  You will regret this the most… so do this right now!  You can’t go back in time.

– Don’t knock it till you tried it.  I know you have a silly expression that you won’t eat anything you can’t spell.  But you need to try new foods and get used to different foreign cuisines.  The food is incredible. 

– If a street performer makes you stop and watch you owe them a buck.  Don’t be cheap.  Also don’t be shy with panhandlers.  Go buy them a coffee and bring it to them.  You always act like your busy and you don’t notice them.  I know you do.

– You only get one chance to notice a haircut so notice the small things and complement the people around you.  Notice them and acknowledge it in their presence.  Women think different than us and it bugs the shit out of them if you don’t say something right away.

– Always buy good shoes.  When you are older than always buy good sheets and pillows.  But now… always buy nice kicks.  People notice them and you will feel good in them.

– Eat lunch at school with the new kids.  Meet new people and when you are older try not to eat lunch at your desk and eat with other people and get to know them better and be more attentive to the people around you.  Since your going to Ajax next year there are so many new people to meet and get to know.  Don’t be shy and challenge yourself to interact with everyone.

– It’s never too late to apologize to someone.  Damn.  I’m typing this to you and I need to do some apologizing to people. Be sincere and acknowledge when and how you let them down.  Some people might not forgive you but you need to live with yourself and you have to put yourself in front of them in person if you can and apologize to them.

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– Protect the people that are absent.  It’s going to be in a book you read in 2004 at work later in life and this is so important and also very hard to police yourself.  If you are around people and they are talking about someone else… stand up and protect the person they are talking about that the people are talking behind their back.  Try not and talk about other people behind their back yourself.  If you mind your own business you will live a more peaceful life in your mind and also it will show yourself better in front of those people and they will respect you more.

– Look people in the eyes when you thank them and try and do a better job at remembering names.  You suck at this so you need to practice.

– Always take the time to thank the host and search them out and thank them personally.  Also write more personal small handwritten notes to thank people and send them promptly.

– Be a good listener and try and not think of the next rebuttal as the person is talking.  This will help you in marriage and with women.

– Practice those Kegel exercises you are reading about in Men’s Health.  They will come in handy.

– When you start working in the investment field downtown Toronto later in life buy some stock in a company called Apple and buy as much as you can and afford.  You can thank me later.

– Buy all the orange properties in Monopoly.

– Smile at strangers.  You might cheer them up just a little.  Everyone has battles they are facing and as you get older people will have more battles.

That’s all the little bullet comments I can think of right now.  Let’s go back to the topic that will consume you in much of your life ahead.

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More about the young girl who is your best friend that your suddenly kissing and want to spend every single freaking minute with.  😉

Let me give you a little teaser for you below:

Congratulations!  You got her.  She is the “one”.  You told her that you liked her and caught her off guard.  Right now you are together all the time which you think is good but you need to set a trend early and keep that going the rest of your life.  I know that I’m telling you to keep a balance and don’t spend every minute together.  The trend is that you need to start is to be independent.  You need to be alone to get things done for you.  You still need to see your friends like Nose.  You need to keep playing basketball with your buddies.  You also need to make her independent and for her to keep her relationships with her high school friends that she will drop cold as soon as school ends next year.

I know I’m telling you things and you won’t listen but trust me.  YOU NEED TO SET A TREND.  So as you move through life with her she needs to be used to you being with her and showing that she is a priority in your life but you also need to be doing stuff with your friends.  If you don’t she will resent anytime that you want to do something with friends and she will control you and make you feel guilty.  Later in life when your friends tell you that she has you “whipped” and you try and laugh it off.  You will know it’s the truth.  Don’t worry.  You will be happy overall in your life.  You will just regret not starting that trend so it lasts through your relationship and when you spend time away from her… it will feel “normal” to her.

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She will also get more beautiful with age.

You will have many good times together and grow as people.  You will finally have two beautiful kids together after loosing the first one before you are married.  I don’t want to tell you to much of the future, but your Daughter will be such a sweet soul.  Then when you think that it should just be three of you in your family, you decide to try and have another child and you get your Son.  Another gentle soul and your two kids will help you push through life.

You will be together for 23 years.  You will be genuinely happy.  Since you have two kids you can confidently say that you had sex twice in your 23 years together.  All I want to say is don’t settle for a sexless marriage.  It’s wonderful and so important.  Being intimate together is what makes us feel alive and being wanted in life by your partner is so important.  You need to communicate your feelings to her.  You need to be with someone that wants to be with you in that way.  You need to have someone you can kiss passionately and you need someone to lie naked in the afternoon and dream about the world and hold each other.

BECAUSE… Before you know it… she will suddenly approach you one afternoon in your 23rd year together she will tell you that her and her parents have decided that she will take the kids and move into to her parents house.  After that afternoon you will never to ask her why.  You will never have a meaningful talk about anything with her after that sentence out of her mouth.

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Then you will find the Rules Of A Gentleman online and the front and the back are so important in life and you promise to not settle in the future.  You promise yourself to keep someone on their toes by following the back and you will try and attract them by following the front.  Your main” tumblr will outline things you want and miss while micro-documenting life.  Your private one will also help you bookmark the reminders of what you have missed and the healthy and much needed deeper connection we all need in relationships through intimacy.  Bottom line.  Make a fucking effort for the other person and follow the Rules Of A Gentleman.  It’s a good start to hopefully a long lasting relationship.

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You will meet the most sensual woman you have ever been with in 2014 and you will have the most craziest sex in your life and wished you had it like that when you were married.  You will plan out how to seduce this woman to keep her on her toes and keep her guessing.  You will think about the next time after you say goodbye to her.  She will do the same for you and she will surprise you also.  It will hit you that you have only spent periodic moments with this woman and you have had more intimate moments with her over the period of 8 months than you will have in 23 years with the woman you have now.  That’s just not right.  So you need to have that that commitment to the other person and they also need to have it with you.  Don’t settle.  I can’t type it out here but I will funnel it to you somehow through this little symbol using the keyboard   (y)

So put your mouse over it and all the thoughts and ideas will flow to you and enjoy.  So when you get fixed after your second child you can really enjoy your time together anytime the mood strikes and not be just a sperm donor a couple of years later after your first child is born.

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You really need to eat clean and eat proper portions.  You need to lift a little weights and keep yourself in good condition.  Nobody lives a perfect life but you will feel better about yourself and be more confident as you get older.  You need to be healthy and strong.  You don’t have to be perfect but the more commitment towards yourself will help.  That’s all you can do.

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Let’s talk about our Mother.  She is simple and sweet as you know.  She is so much older than you and people on this earth will not last forever.  My simple advice is to call her all the time when she moves away.  You will regret that if you don’t.  One day she will be in your life and the other she will be gone.  That’s all I’m going to say.  Call your Mother when she retires.  Technology will help in the future with talking to people through the internet and you can see them with a video camera on your computer.  Just call Mom as much as you can.

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Now for your Brother who will pass away of Liver Cancer a couple of months from now.  I know with the 18 years difference between you that you looked up to him more of an Uncle since when you were little and could remember things he was already living on his own so he was more of an Uncle you would go visit during the year.  Cancer is something that strips away your physical shell as well as your insides and you were not around to watch him disappear from his normal healthy self.  You were not living close to him so you could not be in his presence and for that you will be forever guilty for not asking someone to drive you to him so you could have hung out with him so you could spend a long amount of time together to truly get to know him.  So after you read this.  You need to go and see him and stay with him for a while and hang out.  Let me share things and memories of his life and our parents lives when I was not even born yet.  You also need to call him.  I know he didn’t want to depress you with his condition and burden your mind with what he is going through.  You just need to call him and make the most of the days you have together till Cancer takes him from the family.  This will haunt you if you don’t.  It’s haunted me.  He died at 36 years old and I’m writing this when I’m in my mid 40’s and it’s just not right.

Appreciate everyone and be thankful for all the opportunities when your in the presence of them.  You never know what tomorrow brings and if you will have a chance to speak with them and see them again.

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Before I let you go and live life your way and hopefully with some guidance from your older self.  Let me do some more bullet points of some things off the top of my head:

– Don’t focus on what the Wilson’s across the street are doing with their lives.  People around you will seem like they have it all together.  You have no idea what is happening behind closed doors.  Just because they drive a BMW does not mean they own the car.  They just own the bumper and you can own the bumper too and make payments.  Don’t be focused on what others have.  Just be grateful for what you have… no matter how little or small.

– Learn to be a “Plan B” person.  So when Plan A doesn’t happen don’t let it bother you and you get worked up in negative energy.  Just use that time to focus on “Plan B” and do something else and don’t waste the day spinning your wheels and bent out of shape about how “Plan A” didn’t happen or work out they way it was supposed to.

– Forgive people who make valid apologies.  Really forgive them.  It will help both of you.

– Eating is wonderful, delicious, joyous, experimental, strengthening, nourishing and sociable.

– Write love letters.

– Listen to people who are sad, and really hear them.  Make an effort to understand them and empathize with the way they are feeling.  Help them in ways you would like to be helped.

– If you love someone, tell them.  You might not get another opportunity, and you should never let yourself live with a “what if”.

– Travel whenever you can.  It is important, exciting, invaluable and liberating to explore the world and cultures.

– Live life for yourself.  Learn to say “yes” and learn to say “no”.

– Discover new and great music.  Not all music is just on the 3 radio stations you flip through.  Get an ipod and create playlists of music that helps you with moods and helps you with motivation, thought and reflection.

– Document life to leave a legacy of moments when your not on this earth anymore.  Your Brother will pass away of Cancer and when you look back you will notice you don’t really have video or too many pictures.  As technology develops it will allow you to capture sound and video and you can cherish the sound and movement of the people you love.

– Take pictures of yourself even if you don’t like how you look or you think in your head that you will take more pictures when you loose weight and look better.  You never know when a Bus might take you out on the street so you need to have pictures that others can see you.  It’s great to take 1,000 pictures of your kids but if you don’t have any pictures with you and your kids in the same picture they won’t have any of you in the future.

– Be interested in other peoples lives and that will be worth more than tying to make people interested in yours.

– Try and fall in love with someones naked soul before their naked body.

– A fast nickle is better than a slow dime.  (always loved that saying)

– Find gratitude in small everyday things.  I have been at the lowest point of my life and somehow I was happy.  I had nothing.  Bitterly nothing.  I would love to explain what I was going through but if it happens to you… then just embrace it and see the positive inside the “not so great” stuff your battling through and going through.

– Dress up warm and play in the snow.  Try and embrace the cold of the winter.

– You don’t need a reason to help people.  You don’t have to know them also.

– Start drinking red wine now so you can understand how good it tastes.

– Drive different roads to get places and look out the window more as you pass the countryside.  It’s also ok to turn the car around when you pass something interesting instead of saying in your mind that you passed it and you can’t turn around now.  It will take you 47 seconds to turn around.

– Stopping a car when your driving somewhere to make love in the back seat is underrated.  Daytime or nighttime.

– The happiness of life depends on the quality of your thoughts.  Dream + plan while reflecting.

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I know I’m trying to say everything in the world to you.  Just do things that makes you happy.  If you try and live a good life and be a good person you will genuinely make the people around you happy.  There will always be bumps in the road.  Without them and having all the roads straight with short cuts will not make you appreciate the twists and turns in the journey.

I love the saying “Live Forever And Die In The Attempt”.  You need to do this and be true and happy.  Apologize if you make mistakes and be a good person to yourself, the people you care about and love and never stop laughing and exploring.

Maybe 20 years from now I will write to you again and help you out for the last part of your life.

Enjoy life!

Dan